Kon'nichiwa Everyone………
Welcome back to the dreadful night where the unusual movement of tectonic waves have already started and the volcano was being spotted and awakened, only thing left was its eruption….
Karen asked me “what happened in school, you can share with me” btw that is my counsellor.
I said, I am worried if my dad would not be able to afford my education in the University of Boston, I might have to commit suicide as well!
She said with an expression which I have never seen before “No never, do not even think of that, it would never happen to you, you will study wherever you want”
I said,” how do you know, my professor’s son tried committing suicide because, my professor do not have enough money to sponsor his education abroad “.
She replied, “your parents are way too much wealthy!”
I was relieved, but I had an unusual emptiness, I did not say anything.
Karen said “go to bed sweety!, don’t think on stuffs that are worthless for you, you should only concentrate on your finals and then enjoy the rest of your days here to the fullest before you leave for Boston” and she left, switching off the normal lights. I tried to sleep but could not.
I asked myself, what if my parents were not that rich? What if I was borne to that professor? If there is any way a poor can afford this kind of education?
I opened my mac to do some research on how to become a scientist.
First thing I searched for was cost, which is way too high and then qualification needed which I was aware of but was searching in the hope to get some shortcuts. So, I got no luck here, I still must do my Masters and then PhD after that apply for various research institutes or labs.
That one day changed my life a lot, it was like living my worst nightmare.
I have thousands of question in my mind, at some point I was angry on the professor, but then I thought, why would he be blamed, when there are so many option in India as well to pursue education. Why would a father always be the creator and author of his child’s destiny? Why cannot he make himself the anchor of his destiny?
I heard myself when I was asking this question………. As if someone has said that out loud to me……
I could not sleep the entire night, next day I went to school.
I saw the professor and asked him about his son and showed sympathy, he said I cannot afford to send him abroad for his studies.
I told him he can still become what he wants to, unless his only AIM is studying abroad, I said that in a very firm voice.
We had session in which everyone was asked about their career opinion, some said doctor, some said engineer, some said president of India… well that was ambitious… I was least bothered about anyone.
There was an unusual heat in my body, my ears were red, my palms were cold, it felt there is some heat movement in my body.
Now my turn came to talk about my career plan and aim, I did not know what to say, someone from behind said she will get in which ever college she wants abroad, the professor said yes her score is excellent, she definitely would! The same person said “also because her dad is a billionaire”, although he said that in a normal tone, It felt as if he knows what I am going through and is throwing a bag full of burning logs on my face.
It felt like some explosion happened inside me and I wanted to jump inside ocean to get relief from the lava that erupted inside. I did not say anything and came back home, went straight under the shower in the hope that at least that would help, but as every drop of water was touching my body, I felt as if it is making me feel the pain more.
I came back from shower and went straight away to bed, trying to sleep and forget what has happened, but nothing helped. I was in pain; it was a different pain. It is like you are hungry and someone is eating food next to you and mocking at you even worse than that.
Yes, guys it was that painful. All my pain revived while narrating you my past.
Well I guess that is what and how life is, it takes unexpected turns, but don’t you think that is the beauty of life else how boring our lives would be… anyway that is all for today, I will see you soon with what happened next.
Till then Adiós……………